Stephen King Warns Of A Kingsian Apocalyptic Scenario

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(Stephen King)  Chris Christie may be fat, but he ain’t Santa Claus. In fact, he seems unable to decide if he is New Jersey’s governor or its caporegime, and it may be a comment on the coarsening of American discourse that his brash rudeness is often taken for charm.

In February, while discussing New Jersey’s newly amended income-tax law, which allows the rich to pay less (proportionally) than the middle class, Christie was asked about Warren Buffett’s observation that he paid less federal income taxes than his personal secretary, and that wasn’t fair. “He should just write a check and shut up,” Christie responded, with his typical verve. “I’m tired of hearing about it. If he wants to give the government more money, he’s got the ability to write a check—go ahead and write it.”

Heard it all before. At a rally in Florida (to support collective bargaining and to express the socialist view that firing teachers with experience was sort of a bad idea), I pointed out that I was paying taxes of roughly 28 percent on my income. My question was, “How come I’m not paying 50?” The governor of New Jersey did not respond to this radical idea, possibly being too busy at the all-you-can-eat cheese buffet at Applebee’s in Jersey City, but plenty of other people of the Christie persuasion did. Cut a check and shut up, they said. If you want to pay more, pay more, they said.Tired of hearing about it, they said.

Tough shit for you guys, because I’m not tired of talking about it. I’ve known rich people, and why not, since I’m one of them? The majority would rather douse their dicks with lighter fluid, strike a match, and dance around singing “Disco Inferno” than pay one more cent in taxes to Uncle Sugar.

It’s true that some rich folks put at least some of their tax savings into charitable contributions. My wife and I give away roughly $4 million a year to libraries, local fire departments that need updated lifesaving equipment (jaws of life are always a popular request), schools, and a scattering of organizations that underwrite the arts. Warren Buffett does the same; so does Bill Gates; so does Steven Spielberg; so do the Koch brothers; so did the late Steve Jobs. All fine as far as it goes, but it doesn’t go far enough.

What charitable 1-percenters can’t do is assume responsibility—America’s national responsibilities: the care of its sick and its poor, the education of its young, the repair of its failing infrastructure, the repayment of its staggering war debts. Charity from the rich can’t fix global warming or lower the price of gasoline by one single red penny. That kind of salvation does not come from Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Ballmer saying, “Okay, I’ll write a $2 million bonus check to the IRS.” That annoying responsibility stuff comes from three words that are anathema to the Tea Partiers: United American citizenry.




And hey, why don’t we get real about this? Most rich folks paying 28 percent taxes do not give out another 28 percent of their income to charity. Most rich folks like to keep their dough.

They don’t strip their bank accounts and investment portfolios, they keep them and then pass them on to their children, their children’s children. And what they do give away is—like the monies my wife and I donate—totally at their own discretion. That’s the rich-guy philosophy in a nutshell: Don’t tell us how to use our money; we’ll tell you.

The Koch brothers are right-wing creepazoids, but they’re giving right-wing creepazoids. Here’s an example: 68 million fine American dollars to Deerfield Academy. Which is great for Deerfield Academy. But it won’t do squat for cleaning up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, where food fish are now showing up with black lesions.

It won’t pay for stronger regulations to keep BP (or some other bunch of dipshit oil drillers) from doing it again. It won’t repair the levees surrounding New Orleans. It won’t improve education in Mississippi or Alabama. But what the hell—them li’l crackers ain’t never going to go to Deerfield Academy anyway. F–k em if they can’t take a joke.

Here’s another crock of fresh bullshit delivered by the right wing of the Republican Party (which has become, so far as I can see, the only wing of the Republican Party): the richer rich people get, the more jobs they create. Really? I have a total payroll of about 60 people, most of them working for the two radio stations I own in Bangor, Maine.

If I hit the movie jackpot—as I have, from time to time—and own a piece of a film that grosses $200 million, what am I going to do with it? Buy another radio station? I don’t think so, since I’m losing my shirt on the ones I own already. But suppose I did, and hired on an additional dozen folks. Good for them. Whoopee-ding for the rest of the economy.

Tired of hearing about it, they said. Tough shit for you guys, because I’m not tired of talking about it. I’ve known rich people, and why not, since I’m one ofthem?

At the risk of repeating myself, here’s what rich folks do when they get richer:they invest. A lot of those investments are overseas, thanks to the anti-American business policies of the last four administrations. Don’t think so? Check the tag on that T-shirt or gimme cap you’re wearing.

If it says MADE IN AMERICA, I’ll…well, I won’t say I’ll eat your shorts, because some of that stuff ismade here, but not much of it. And what does get made here doesn’t get made by America’s small cadre of pluted bloatocrats; it’s made, for the most part, in barely-gittin’-by factories in the Deep South, where the only unions people believe in are those solemnized at the altar of the local church (as long as they’re from different sexes, that is).

The U.S. senators and representatives who refuse even to consider raising taxes on the rich—they squall like scalded babies (usually on Fox News) every time the subject comes up—are not, by and large, superrich themselves, although many are millionaires and all have had the equivalent of Obamacare for years.

They simply idolize the rich. Don’t ask me why; I don’t get it either, since most rich people are as boring as old dead dogshit. The Mitch McConnells and John Boehners and Eric Cantors just can’t seem to help themselves. These guys and their right-wing supporters regard deep pockets like Christy Walton and Sheldon Adelson the way the little girls regard Justin Bieber…which is to say, with wide eyes, slack jaws, and the drool of adoration dripping from their chins.

I’ve gotten the same reaction myself, even though I’m only “baby rich” compared to some of these guys, who float serenely over the lives of the struggling middle class like blimps made of thousand-dollar bills.

In America, the rich are hallowed. Even Warren Buffett, who has largely been drummed out of the club for his radical ideas about putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to patriotism, made the front pages when he announced that he had stage 1 prostate cancer. Stage 1, for God’s sake! A hundred clinics can fix him up, and he can put the bill on his American Express black card! But the press made it sound like the pope’s balls had just dropped off and shattered! Because it was cancer? No! Because it was Warren Buffett, he of Berkshire-Hathaway!

I guess some of this mad right-wing love comes from the idea that in America, anyone can become a Rich Guy if he just works hard and saves his pennies.Mitt Romney has said, in effect, “I’m rich and I don’t apologize for it.” Nobody wants you to, Mitt. What some of us want—those who aren’t blinded by a lot of bullshit persiflage thrown up to mask the idea that rich folks want to keep their damn money—is for you to acknowledge that you couldn’t have made it in America without America.

That you were fortunate enough to be born in a country where upward mobility is possible (a subject upon which Barack Obama can speak with the authority of experience), but where the channels making such upward mobility possible are being increasingly clogged. That it’s not fair to ask the middle class to assume a disproportionate amount of the tax burden.

Not fair? It’s un-f–king-American, is what it is. I don’t want you to apologize for being rich; I want you to acknowledge that in America, we all should have to pay our fair share. That our civics classes never taught us that being American means that—sorry, kiddies—you’re on your own.

That those who have received much must be obligated to pay—not to give, not to “cut a check and shut up,” in Gov. Christie’s words, but to pay—in the same proportion. That’s called stepping up and not whining about it. That’s called patriotism, a word the Tea Partiers love to throw around as long as it doesn’t cost their beloved rich folks any money.

This has to happen if America is to remain strong and true to its ideals. It’s a practical necessity and a moral imperative. Last year, during the Occupy movement, the conservatives who oppose tax equality saw the first real ripples of discontent. Their response was either Marie Antoinette (“Let them eat cake”) or Ebeneezer Scrooge (“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”). Short-sighted, gentlemen. Very short-sighted. If this situation isn’t fairly addressed, last year’s protests will just be the beginning. Scrooge changed his tune after the ghosts visited him. Marie Antoinette, on the other hand, lost her head.

Think about it.

  • Jen

    Why does the page keep moving while I’m trying to read? STOP IT!

  • Ron Paul

    I agree only up to the Point that you think Obama is any different. Stephen I like your books but the one that is being written as we live cannot be topped.

    Vote Ron Paul 2012 or see the America and it’s constitution be ripped apart.

  • Jeremy

    That’s so annoying, I had to stop reading King’s article.


    Stop using my browser because you can’t get your images to stay in a static frame size?

    Ha ha ha.



    Or I can just never come back to your website.

  • Steve

    Its not the browser. I have tried both the latest version of Chrome and Firefox. Its the featured articles at the top of the page causing the movement. They re-size..please fix, very annoying.

  • Rev. Dr. Leela Alvarez

    It is so important to hear how others are feeling about what is affecting our Whole Earth! We humans are so STUPID that we complain about trivial matters while LIFE Threatening influences are being ignored! How Stupid! Do you not see the matters that find you extinct? Are you not concerned with the conduct of sodomizing stalking rapist? I didn’t think so.

    When our public that has been ill educated through segregation and physiological environmental influences; that keep them laterally oppressed from all truth having to do with REALITY; awakens by imminent death it will be too late to change the affects these persons have upon our lives.

    Give thanks for this opportunity to hear of the BULLSHIT you have been fed all these years!!
    It may be the LAST!

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  • ozzy

    like most his books this post is an emotional rant devoid of a Mental Body. Attractive to the lower spirits but disgusting to the higher. Grow UP Stephen.

    • Anonymous

      You my friend are a moron, he nailed it. You must be borderline Alex Jones living.

    • Anonymous

      fkng A.

    • Rosalie Stafford

      Stephen King is pig-ignorant of economics. Notice he admits that he owns two radio stations which both lose money? I read a few of his trashy-books: thinly-disguised paeans to the religion of progressivism.

  • Elisabel

    Ooohhhh ‘ozzy’! you’re really a high person (sarcastic comment, by the way)

  • Vern

    I love this article by Dr. King, (just kidding). Whether or not some of you mutts know it or not, or are just brainwashed, My main man got it right here. There is little that I disagree with here. These are the thoughts I long to here from someone with a ginormice bank account. The King Man gets it, while some of these readers on the other hand don’t.

    • Vern

      I long to hear, not here. Thank me.

  • Vern

    …°€¢√√°€|¢£“¢££°^π_==[=_^°°€ The ruling class sucks!

  • PD MacGuire

    King throws his money around just as arrogantly as any other rich sod. He could buy jaws of life and ambulances just as easily as he spends his money on all of those weirdly perfect baseball fields and in bullying his neighbours around Lake Kezar.

  • Adam Karrsen

    King always was a weirdo. His brain is fried so just ignore the moron.

  • Troy Leavitt

    The tax laws will never be “fair” or equitable, Stephen, because the rich WRITE the tax laws. Most of the truly wealthy can spend $250K on a personal tax lawyer to keep their money hidden. Why do you think Clinton pushed all those “Free Trade” agreements that allowed corporations to offshore their profits? You think he was a “man of the people?” He was just as much the Banker’s Bitch as Obama or Bush before him. You want fair? Use your money and influence to support a Flat Tax – and more importantly – smaller government. You apparently don’t “get” that taxation is theft no matter how big-government, big-spending Liberals or Republicans like to candy-coat it: You are, under the threat of violence, taking one man’s wealth to give to another (or in the case of government, yourself). You also apparently don’t know diddly about the Constitution or how the tax system was *supposed* to work – i.e. there were two kinds of taxes allowed – an Excise Tax(on stuff you don’t need) and an Apportioned Tax (a one-time good deal where everyone paid the same amount). These limitations kept the government spending under control. I realize I’m spinning my wheels, however, in trying to explain anything to someone who thinks this way. History and Logic don’t play a part in the mind of the Left – they run on pure emotion.

    • Anonymous

      This being Jan. 2nd, hows that new tax fix working out for ya? Thank your messiah for that for me will you?

  • gary

    Then by ALL being fair Mr.King should not our “Darling” Queen Mrs. Obama be at the top of the list? After all,she is the vacation spending our tax dollars leader of all freaking time. I would like to thank your leader for fkng me and my wifeand the rest of us little people though.I would have rather jumped off that fkng cliff.

  • http://www.none ARIZONA

    I can see everyones mad,BUT its just the tip of the ICEBURG,warren buffet,he bought the TRAINS thats run across america,not only do they recieve tax payer support ( corp.welfare) but he will be in charge of transporting prisoners to the FEMA CAMPS,In his new prison cars he built,MORE GOVERNMENT TAX MONEY,BILL GATES OWNS DRUG companies and they make vaccines for polio,PROBLEM IS IT GIVES THE CHILDREN “POLIO” ever seen a kid with polio,40,000 children in INDIA now have polio thanks to BILL GATES and hes busy spreading death and desease all through the world,and have the american police to protect him from being killed,YEA THESE RICH GUYS KNOW HOW TO SPEND THEIR MONEY,and the STATE POLICE in connecticut are bought like a pack of whores,by ERIC HOLDER and THE DOJ KILL TEAM they sent to that school in sandyhook,they do need gun laws,because AMERICA is starting to realize we have nothing but KILLERS RUNNING THIS COUNTRY “AND CHILDREN ARE THEIR TARGET” and have for a hundred years,WHEN IS AMERICA GOING TO STOP THESE DEMONIC ANIMALS FROM KILLING YOUR CHILDREN….AND NOT JUST YOUR CHILDREN,LOOK AT THE WARS,almost everyone killed are children,DOES ANYONE SEE WHAT THEIR DOING????

  • Bimbam

    I don’t get it. He says the rich don’t create jobs then goes to say how he created 60!

    I don’t think we “idolize” the rich, we admire them that they “made” it, but that’s about it. I wonder if he said that because he wants to be idolized?

    And another thing, it is an OBLIGATION TO HELP THE POOR IF YOU CAN Mr. Stevens. It’s in the Bible.

    I won’t force this on the rich but I’d like you to keep that in mind because the Bible says when He hears the cries of the widow….. BEWARE RICH MAN!

  • ray

    write your books and shut the fuck up you brain fried dipshit

  • billyt

    Can someone name me JUST ONE poor democratic senator or congressman ?

  • billyt

    Children of a congress member do not have to pay back their college student loans. How nice!
    Monday on Fox news they learned that the staffers of Congress family members are exempt from having to pay back student loans. This will get national attention if other news networks will broadcast it.
    Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

    This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.

    This is an idea that we should address.

    For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform… in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn’t seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don’t care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

    If each person that receives this will forward it on to 20 people, in three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.

    Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution: “Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .”