(Alexander Higgins) In what could be one of the better deals encountered on Ebay, one can submit a winning bid for none other than the country of Greece, currently going for the modest price of $1,550 (although with 6 more days left in the auction, there is a small chance Goldman will outbid and use it as LTRO 3 collateral).
Of course, since the country is worth much less than the debt (all 7 subordinated classes of it) any new equity buyer would assume, this is a trick auction: our advice – settle for nothing less than getting paid as much as possible for “buying” the country.
From the item specifics:
I’m offering my country for sale. What is left of it anyway. Slightly used, low wages, low pensions, low expectations. Lots of sunshine though, free at the moment.
Many natural resources, minerals etc that are still untouched. Bureaucracy at its best. Great bribe-to-do system, over 20 years of experience.
Obedience at the IMF, bankers and the Troika is guaranteed, no questions asked.
The buyer will get for free 300 politicians, highly trained at the University of Fine Arts of Scandals. And free Greek Bonds with extremely high international market value. For confetti.
I will provide the best possible certificate that you will ever imagine, maybe even a custom one that you’ll ask.
No hard feelings.
Questions and answers about this item:
- Q: Is it possible to bundle your sale with Iceland? I would consider a package deal!
- A: I’m sorry to tell you,but Iceland is in much better condition than Greece.
- Q: I was wondering if you would be able to combine shipping with any future eurozone countries (i.e. Italy) you may have for sale. Also, would the sea between the islands be included or excluded in the package? Thank you for your cooperation.
- A: I can arrange a big discount for any future transactions!
- Q: Hi. I am very interested. However, I need your assurances that before I bid, you will exclude all corrupt banks, Goldman Sachs cronies, JP Morgan criminals, and the rest of the Draghi / ECB ex-Goldmanite corrupt insider trading white-collar criminals from this offer? I don’t want my purchase of a beautiful country to be tainted with satanic banksters. Thanks in advance.
- A: Greece doesn’t need any of those to be f****d up As you can see, the offer includes our whole parliament! 300 of our finest politicians!
- Q: Hi. Is it possible to deport Zeus before auction ends? To USA for example.
- A: I’m afraid of the other god’s wrath. They might feel insulted,i cannot take any chance! I hope that you can understand my concerns.
- Q: Hi. I would like to have this land mass shipped closer to home here, but there seems to be far too many bits and pieces. Are you able to compact it all together into one single parcel for shipping? I’m sure it’ll be more economical (if that term is understood?) to do it this way too. Cheers!
A: Hmmm… You may have a point here my friend. But i’m afraid that they may broke, they are way too fragile in order to pack them one on top of the other. Maybe teleportation can work!