(Blake Neff) Millions of Americans, especially those with few other sources of joy in life, were amused Wednesday when a C-SPAN caller pranked the network by pretending to be the the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. (RELATED: C-SPAN Caller Pranks Network With ‘Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ Theme Song)
Wednesday’s caller is hardly the first prankster to torment the diligent public servants of C-SPAN, however. In fact, the prank callers making crude sex jokes and mentioning the unmentionables of radio shock jock Howard Stern are almost too many to count. Here’s seven other callers, though, who went above and beyond.
1. Give Peace A Chance In The Coming Robot War
A Republican from Chattanooga wanted the viewers of Washington Journal to know that he was having serious second thoughts about war with “the robots.”
“Some of them are friendly,” he admitted, though he added that “I do fear the robots and I don’t think they can be trusted.” The call is enhanced by the host, who wants to know just what these mysterious robots are and where they come from.
2. I sense a disturbance in the…Tri…Force.
Lisa from Danville, Kentucky wants to show us all “what I’ve been drinking.” Whatever it is, she’s probably had too much of it, as any Legend of Zelda fan knows that The Triforce dwells in magical Hyrule, not in the United States.
3. Nigel Goldsworthy has gold fever
Nigel “Hickory” Goldsworthy of Goldendale, Washington called in to a discussion on congressional redistricting to complain that he’s lonely. Why? Well, apparently he’s the only person who lives in Goldendale, and President Obama won’t give him the mining permit needed to prove that there’s gold in them thar hills! Thanks, Obama.
4. Goldsworthy Strikes Back
Goldsworthy wasn’t done, though. During the debate over the debt ceiling, Goldsworthy decided to display his history knowledge by comparing America’s spending predicament with the lessons of history. Specifically, he said, the great Roman emperor Caesar Bubba Lou Johnson IV (not a real emperor) apparently navigated a debt crisis just fine, and was still able to rebuff an invasion from the Zylon army of Zylon IV (not a real planet). How can America imitate Bubba’s success? Why, just dig up the gold diamonds (not a real gem) of Goldendale, Washington!
5. Throat singing?
Lorenzo from Levelland, Texas, called up in December 2008 to voice a problem we can all sympathize with: In the midst of the global economic crisis, his throat-singing quartet was suffering from a dwindling number of gigs. Lorenzo’s plight captured the struggles of the American small businessman. C-SPAN only further enhances the man’s misery by cutting him off just as he begins to show off his talents. HEY-OOOOOOOOOO.
6. You want to…what?
The caller from Paoli, Pennsylvania is hardly an exceptional caller when he says he wants to “stick a finger in [the] in-betweens” of a guest discussing auto emissions, what is exceptional is that he paired his obscene request with a serious question on why automakers aren’t advertising environmentally-friendly cars more. Even better: The guest answers the question!
7. One Man Who Gets Straight To The Point